Silly Sunday - delayed

Last Sunday we had a really nice time and as time went by we didn't post... So, here is the delayed Silly Sunday column.

Being in a new country, we are always curious about the ads. We saw one on TV we like to share with you. We have never seen this in Europe before (and are glad about this!) but it might just be our ignorance. Maybe it is out there as well.

It is all about Clear Play. "Clear Play is a fancy DVD player that can play regular DVD movies -- but without profanity, violence and nudity." First, we are impressed that they tell us the DVD player can play regular movies. So far so good. It works by cutting out the scenes that they think are profane, violent and all about nudity and probably (gasp!) sex. Don't be sceptical, the movie you will see is not choppy at all. And that is because they love movies as much as we do. (We doubt that.) They take great care to maintain the presentation quality of the movie. "The only thing gone is 'that one scene' you wish the kids never saw." But don't be disappointed. It is not only a tool for parenting. It is also useful for us. If you always wanted to watch a movie without the profanity and nudity in it, this is your gift.

Here you can watch an advertising clip that explains how it works. In action. You will see a house on fire. Firemen run inside the burning building and rescue a child. The Clear Play guys cut out a piece of the rescue action, you just see the firemen go in and come out. You don't see the real action of rescuing the child. (Yes, we also would have cut this out for our 4 year old daughter, but maybe we just would not have watched it with her.) Not a lot of excitement left actually in the ad clip. But isn't this why you watch a movie? To get enthralled, excited, angry, anxious. You might even cry. (To be fair, we guess the pieces where you can laugh stay in the movie even with Clear Play. Unless they are profane, of course.) What will become of our heroes? They are defined by the action that would be cut out. Arnie (yes, little D. was quite keen on his oeuvre when aged 16, not embarrassed at all now that he became a governor ;-) ) with his tattered muscle filled shirt, in blood, standing in front of whatever he just fought, looking fierce, but glad. How would you know what just happened? And how could you appreciate what he just did? Saving the world?

What pops into our mind immediately: Lassie. The collie we all loved in our childhood. The collie who made us cry, made us laugh and in the end made us happy. Imagine the movie Lassie come home with Clear Play. (The story, set in Depression-era England, is about a poor boy's dog - Lassie - who, when sold to a rich nobleman, makes a difficult journey to return home to her original owner.) Lassie - always in danger, sometimes even hurt, or the boy in danger and Lassie in danger as well while rescuing the boy or another family member or another dog. Would we remember it as clear as we do (with all the pain!) with Clear Play? We doubt it.

But it is not only about kids' movies. They have a Clear Play library with over 2000 movies to choose from. And a lot of genres: action, adventure, romance, comedy (imagine comedy without the bad language, you might actually very well miss the point, but maybe they don't have this kind of comedy), sport and even documentaries. And they constantly add new movies as they come out. You already know what we are up to. Of course, we are checking if they also have 'I am Legend', the latest zombie movie by Will Smith. And to our surprise, they have it! Now we wonder what would be left. The theatrical cut is 100 min long. The Clear Play cut might have at most 50 min (It takes about 45 min to show that it is a zombie movie. And the last 3-5 minutes are zombie free again.) But what would be left of the story? Yes, we can imagine why they think Clear Play might be necessary for this kind of horror-adventure-drama-sci-fi film... we just wonder how silly this is.

Just imagine what will become of some movies that kind of shaped us: "Jaws" will become a movie about nice sandy beaches in the sun, people who don't know the uncleared version might wonder about the music though (surprisingly as well: they have it in their library, even Jaws 2). Yes, we would share this cleared version with our daughter.

Imagine "An inconvenient truth" by Al Gore. Gore is a word that is quite profane. Better cut it out. Thinking about it, the title is profane as well. So, there is "The documentary without a title by Al" left. We are not sure what will be left over of the content. And don't wonder if your kids - who only get to know the cleared movie and documentary versions - ask what lions eat. No, they don't kill antelopes. What a peaceful view of the world. Then better to cut out all news as well.

In our humble opinion, it might be better not having your kids watch such films. Even with Clear Play. And why spending approx. $ 80 a year on the membership and additional $ 80 for a fancy DVD player? Just watch what your kids watch on TV and DVD and let them discover the world how it is. And if you don't want profanity, violence and nudity in a movie, then just don't watch it. Or make your own movie. Or use earplugs or don't look when it gets violent or leave the cinema or start knitting or take a book or just don't watch it.